At first, it might look like ordinary teenage flirting — a few private messages, compliments, emojis. But behind the screen, a group of boys might be watching, competing, and laughing. Across some UK schools, a disturbing trend is spreading: teenage boys treating the pursuit of explicit photos from female classmates as a game.
In groups, boys “select” girls as targets and compete to see who can persuade one to share a sexualised photo first. The “winner” earns bragging rights. The “loser” risks ridicule. What may appear to them as playful competition is, in truth, a form of digital exploitation that can devastate lives and futures.
What Teenage Baiting Really Is
Teenage baiting refers to a manipulative practice in which boys, often encouraged by friends, build a false sense of intimacy with a girl — typically a classmate. Through flattery, humour, and trust-building, they pressure or persuade her to send a private image. Once shared, that image may circulate among friends, group chats, or social media.
Some boys view it as harmless fun. Some justify it as “everyone does it.” In reality, it’s emotional coercion, and in the UK, it’s a criminal offence.
What’s an Offence in the UK?
Under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it is illegal to:
1. Take, make, or possess indecent images of anyone under 18.
2. Share or forward such images, even if they were originally shared “consensually.”
This means that when underage boys exchange explicit images of under-18s, they are technically distributing indecent images of a child — a serious offence that can result in police investigation.
Other laws, including the Malicious Communications Act 1988 and the Communications Act 2003, criminalise sharing private material to cause humiliation or distress. Schools are obliged to report these incidents as safeguarding concerns.
Why It’s Happening
Peer Pressure and Status
Within male friendship groups, social validation often depends on risk-taking and dominance. “Baiting” becomes a way to gain approval or to avoid exclusion. Manipulating a girl into sending a sexual photo becomes a test of status and way to the respect of friends.
The competition element fuels the belief that manipulating girls is proof of confidence and success. These dynamics are intensified by online culture, where image-based validation dominates.
Fear of Rejection and Cancel Culture
The modern adolescent environment is shaped by public visibility. Today’s teenagers live under constant public exposure and peer scrutiny. Consequently, teens live under constant social evaluation. Online culture rewards popularity, and rejection — even perceived — can feel catastrophic. Many young people fear being left out or “cancelled.” The fear of exclusion, being ignored or ridiculed drives both genders toward risky behaviour. Many boys participate to avoid rejection and gain social status. Many girls comply out of fear of losing connection, being mocked, labelled “prudish” and socially isolated.
The Developing Teenage Brain
Neuroscience explains part of this vulnerability. The adolescent brain’s prefrontal cortex — responsible for reasoning, impulse control, empathy, and risk assessment — continues to mature into the mid-twenties. Meanwhile, the limbic system, which governs reward and social bonding, is highly active during adolescence.
This imbalance in brain area activity drives adolescent risky behaviour and limits their developing perspective taking abilities making teenagers more sensitive to peer approval, reactive to peer influence and immediate gratification, and less able to foresee long-term consequences.
The Need to Belong
According to attachment theory, a child’s early experiences shape their later need for acceptance and validation. Teenagers, like all humans, seek belonging. Adolescents who feel uncertain in their social identity often equate belonging with compliance, doing whatever is necessary to be accepted and may adopt harmful behaviours to fit in. In the digital age, that longing for connection is amplified by constant comparison and exposure to adult content that distorts ideas of intimacy and respect.
The Harm — To Both Girls and Boys
For Girls
Girls targeted in these “games” often experience deep humiliation and betrayal. Once an image circulates, control is lost. Many withdraw from school to escape malicious gossip, labelling and judgment. The emotional fallout can include anxiety, depression, and in severe cases, trauma-like symptoms. The social isolation and fear of exposure can damage confidence and trust for years.
For Boys
Boys involved in baiting also suffer harm, though less visible. By turning manipulation into entertainment, they erode empathy and develop distorted ideas of masculinity and intimacy. Over time, guilt, shame, or confusion can surface — especially when they realise the gravity of their actions. What began as a game can leave lasting psychological scars and even legal consequences.
The Normalisation of Exploitation
Modern media plays a powerful role. Teenagers absorb a constant stream of sexualised content that equates attention with worth. When repeated enough, disrespect becomes familiar — and familiarity becomes normal. This “osmosis” of digital culture numbs empathy. Teenagers stop recognising exploitation as harm and start treating it as banter or status-seeking.
When adults dismiss it as “typical teenage behaviour,” they reinforce the silence that allows it to spread.
What Parents Can Do
Parents can’t control every message or app, but they can shape how their children interpret them. Awareness, communication, and emotional connection are the strongest forms of prevention.
1. Talk Early, Talk Often
1.1. Introduce conversations about respect, privacy, and digital trust before problems arise.
1.2. Avoid judgement. Ask questions: What would you do if someone shared an image without permission? How do you decide who to trust online?
1.3. Reinforce that real confidence means protecting others, not exposing them.
2. Understand the Digital World
2.1. Learn how the platforms your teen uses work — from disappearing messages to group chats.
2.2. Teach them that deleting doesn’t mean erasing. Screenshots and shares make private moments permanent.
3. Monitor Without Invading
3.1. Use parental controls with transparency, explaining that safety, not surveillance, is the goal.
3.2. Notice emotional shifts — secrecy, withdrawal, anxiety, or sudden avoidance of school may signal distress.
4. Support Without Shame
4.1. If your child is involved — whether as a victim or participant — stay calm. Shaming fuels secrecy. Instead, help them reflect on choices and understand consequences.
4.2. In cases of distress or trauma, seek professional support through school counsellors or child mental health services (CAMHS).
What Schools and Communities Can Do
Schools must treat digital exploitation as both a safeguarding and educational issue. This means:
1. Embedding discussions of consent, empathy, and digital ethics within the curriculum.
2. Providing safe spaces for boys to discuss peer pressure and masculinity without fear of ridicule.
3. Making clear that victims are never to blame — and that sharing private images is never acceptable.
Community organisations and local authorities can also play a vital role by supporting workshops for parents and pupils on digital safety, relationships, and emotional literacy.
Changing the Culture
At its heart, this issue isn’t about technology — it’s about empathy, belonging, and respect. Teenagers long to be accepted. When we teach them that empathy, not exploitation, earns true respect, the culture begins to shift to one where kindness and integrity define strength. The so-called “game” stops when young people understand that dignity — theirs and others’ — is never up for play.
About the Author: Stella Forster, MA, MBACP, is a qualified integrative counsellor and psychotherapist who believes that our past and present relationships shape our lives. She offers a confidential, supportive space in which to explore thoughts and feelings and works collaboratively with clients to empower them to navigate life’s challenges .
Need support? If this article resonates with you or you’d like to arrange a session with Stella or another therapist, please book a free 20-minute consultation via our booking link: https://calendly.com/wellconnections/consultation